wait you mean you don’t use the word ‘fortnight’ in america???
Wait what? Then what do they use?
they don’t have a word
what do you mean they don’t have a word what kind of uncivilised people are they??
the fuck is a fortnight
It’s a word for ‘two weeks’
We say “two weeks”
(via i-do-augustus-i-do)
Source: brigwife
A little kid was chugging water today, and he explained to me it wasn’t just cause he was thirsty.
“I’m gonna grow up one day and have a baby, so I’m gonna go ahead and make a swimming pool for him while he’s in my tummy!”
invite me over to ur house it’ll be a blast ill pet your dog while ur parents yell at you
(via onetruerumor)
Source: unfollower
mom, dad, these are my newborn twins. their names are mom and dad. i named them after you. what do you mean ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ aren’t your real names? what the hell? i already named these kids thanks for telling me now
(via i-do-augustus-i-do)
Source: rabioheab
my mother, everyone
he looks like his friend just jumped off a building
HE LOOKS LIKE HIS FRIEND JUST JUMPED OFF A BUILDING
HANNIBAL THO
(via i-do-augustus-i-do)
Source: super-wholocked-in-camelot
